small act of bravery

I wanted to share a small act of bravery. 
I was recently talking with my friend Ann about... well... life, and out of the blue she says, "I think you should try going a whole week where you just say 'fuck it!'"
There is a certain liberation that comes from not caring what others think. And I think all of us have varying degrees of this in varying situations, at varying times in our lives. But, when we can say, "fuck it, I don't care what people think" we give ourselves permission to be who we really are and experience such freedom in those moments. I have to say this is difficult for me sometimes, the worrier/perfectionist/caretaker/peacemaker comes out in me and fights to hang on. Which I think is exactly why Ann suggested this challenge to me in the first place. 
Now, on to the point of all this... 
I don't fancy myself a singer. It's something I take great pleasure in doing when I am alone, and it's something I always wish I was better at. But, by no stretch of the imagination do I think I am good at it. It is precisely why I admire those who can sing so much. I remember a conversation I also had with Ann a long time ago about singing (she is a wonderful singer). I said to her, "Oh! I can't sing." And she laughed and said to me, "Of course you can sing! It's like people who say, 'oh no... I can't draw'. Everyone can draw." And she's right... I can sing, not very well... but I can sing. 
And, on my weekly Writers Call on Monday night I decided to sing! The words shocked me as I told the group that's what I would be doing this week instead of reading. But, I thought, "fuck it! I want to sing, so I'm going to sing." I sang a song that I have been singing every day for the last few weeks: while I'm in the shower, doing the dishes, cooking, driving... everywhere. I can't stop singing it, I don't know why. So, I sang it. It felt amazing and liberating to give myself permission to do something I was afraid to do, to show a part of myself that wasn't perfect, but was honest. To sing, and not judge it for not sounding how I wished it would, but to just love it for an act of expression, and bravery. 

photo by Imogen Cunningham via Viva Voce


  1. I love this post! And i'm so impressed you sang! Caring too much what others think is hard sometimes because you forget what you want when you're people pleasing a lot, or at least that's how I feel. Your friend Ann sounds like a wise woman ;)

    1. yes... she is... she's pretty much the wisest woman i know ;)
      thanks for commenting! xo

  2. You sounded beautiful! You CAN sing and you DO sing so that makes you a singer. Get rid of this: "Repeat: I am not a great singer" Just take that out of your post. It doesn't belong there. It's false advertising. If I was looking forward to hearing some bad singing and you performed, I would be very disappointed. It is just like drawing. It comes easier to some than others and anyone can improve with practice. AND someone who practices their whole life may never be able to draw rocks like Lauren Spencer King, but I bet they would learn to draw their own beautiful way. Who are you comparing yourself to? Celine Dion? Do you think Bob Dylan can sing? Do you think Michael Stipe can sing?

    There. I'm done lecturing you. Get ready, because when I record my record, you're singing backup.

    1. hahaaa ha ha....

      i love you ANN!!!! ;)

  3. I LOVE this LAUREN!!! I wish I could have heard you! What a beautiful post xoxoxo

  4. Thank you for sharing this little heart lift and a high five for a greater than small act of bravery!

  5. Another "I love this!" I do! I am proud of you. And thank you for this - it's what I needed to hear right now too. xoxo