These past few weeks something has been bubbling to the surface for me, some unsettled feeling that has been triggered by my heart, both it's strength and it's ache. It's a call for action, a desire for change - in myself - for how I'm seen - how I live... for how we live and how we see each other. A deep need to help others and change the conversation, open it up to be more inclusive to all life's experiences, not just the easily digestible, the easily understood. Anger about this is turning into passion to do something - to create a place where this can happen. And other angers are just lingering. Angers at people for leaving, for dying, for not listening, for being afraid. I don't know what to do with these. Feel them? 

I don't know if it's a result of my age or consciousness, but I'm at a moment where when I feel into everything in my life that truly matters to me and I find opposing feelings. Both the pain that comes with heartbreaking situations, and also the wisdom that is born from these experiences, the awe and profound gratitude I have for them, for the way things are, for the who I am, for life, for something much bigger at work. These two feelings are in every meaningful experience for me right now. The light and the dark. It's creating such a particular aura. Faith. 

Caravaggio, The Incredulity of St. Thomas (detail), c. 1601-02
Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed


  1. thanks for that post!
    exactly the way i felt the last week! fells so good to read!
    always inspired by your posts!
    have a good time!